11.08.2009

2009-10 Minnesota Timberwolves Drinking Game



A mutilated zombie of a roster stumbled from the wreckage created by David Kahn's dismantling of the McHale Travesty this off-season. LeBron may have 3 titles before Glen Taylor and company can trot out a watchable product at the Target Center.

So what are NBA fans in Minnesota to do? Wait it out and hope Rambis can develop Flynn, Jefferson, Love and Brewer into a solid core? Give up and pick a new team to root for during the rebuilding years? Switch attention over to Tubby's up and coming squad at the Barn?

Well for starters we can drink.

Drink 1
*When a foreign guy scores. This includes Oleksiy Pecherov, Sasha Pavlovik and Australian Gigantisaur Nathan Jawai.

*When Corey Brewer or Johnny Flynn toss up an airball or turn the ball over. I saw Brewer airball a free throw earlier this season. I shit you not. If that happens again just go ahead and kill your beer, crush it on your forehead and throw it at the TV.

*When Al Jefferson gets destroyed attempting to play post defense

Drink 2

*When an announcer mentions:
-Kevin McHale
-Kevin Garnett
-Ricky Rubio
-'Rebuilding process'

*When Brian Cardinal scores.

*When there is a promo pimping another team's players as a reason to come to the game. 'Come down to the Target Center next Friday to see David Lee and the Knicks.'

Drink 5

*If the Wolves are winning at the end of any quarter.
*If the Wolves fall behind by 25 or more.

Put your beer down and gimme your keys
*If Minnesota goes up by 25 or more, because you're not reading the score correctly.

Finish your beer and break out the whisky
*When you remember
-No free agents want to live in Minnesota in the winter, thus diluting the value of any cap space we may have.
-Ricky Rubio will never don a Timberwolves uniform.
-The rebuilding effort relies on David Kahn, who was out of basketball for 5 years prior to his hiring, and Kurt Rambis, who is known primarily for his sweet goggles/mustache combo and getting clotheslined by McHale (ironically) in the 1984 finals.

Drink up my friends, its gonna be a long winter.

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